Lee Yon's Multiply Site

Has it been 2 weeks already? It didn't feel like 2 weeks, it felt more like a week actually. My perception of time has been distorted ever since Gabriel was born.

For me, the experience of having a baby ranged from being being deliriously happy and relieved at the sight of my firstborn to feeling overwhelmed in the initial few days to being stressed out when he cries in the middle of the night, and to having a deep glow of satisfaction and pride when holding him.  

For all prospective parents reading this, I want to share this. Before Gabriel was born, Angie and I fretted that we were not the fatherly or motherly type. We were not the type to carry or play other people's children at gatherings. We hated the sound of crying babies. We were aghast when we had dinner with friends with babies and observed that they spend more time feeding the baby than themselves. Couldn't have a decent conversation without being interrupted by the baby. Couldn't imagine being like them. Angie was anxious that she wouldn't like our son and would neglect him and be a bad mother. In short, we did not have an affinity for children emotionally but we both wanted children as part of our lives. This apparent contradiction worried us but we were set on this course.

All these changed when Gabriel was born(except maybe we still still don't like the sound of crying babies, but then which parent does?). Looking back, all those fears seemed silly but I can tell you they felt very real at that point in time.

Angie has changed a lot through the pregnancy and child birth experience. She has become disciplined and scrupulous in her routines(feeding, burping, sterilising, bathing, changing diapers). Since pregnancy until now, she has had to wake up many times in the night, either to go toilet or to feed the baby or change diapers.....she is now a light sleeper and able to wake up more easily. She has put aside her fears and now cannot bear to leave Gabriel.

So you see...there is a time for everything. A time to love and a time to be a parent, a time for the love and emotional attachment to children to grow.